Mommy Wars 2.0

Those of us that have been blessed with children that we birthed, adopted, inherited or found on the corner, will be able to relate.

Remember when the kids were little? Maybe you still have little energizer bunny, diaper needing, scraped knee, band-aid requesting types. None-the-less, the elephant in the proverbial room or playground as it often was for me, revolved around that crazy, mostly unspoken competition among mothers. I’m not talking about the work-outside-of-the home vs. stay-at-home mom superweight fight,  I’m talking about the, “My kid can do xxx” so, “What’s wrong with you because your kid can’t,” type of bout. The kind that allowed the more insecure moms a place to gloat or hide over their child’s ability (or lack thereof) to successfully use the potty, tie shoes, or read Brown Bear, Brown Bear on their own even though everyone knew that little angel couldn't read it, but had been forced to hear it so many times they simply memorized it.

Now that I am the mother of two teens, one approaching college entrance age at rapid speed, I realize there is a Mommy Wars 2.0. This time it’s not about scoring a goal on the pee-wee field or knowing their times tables, it’s about GPA’s, Travel Teams, SAT Scores and AP classes. It’s about seeing someone you haven’t seen in almost a year telling you, quite loudly for maximum hearing within the unsolicited crowd, that their child is in line for Valedictorian, has 25 AP courses with a gazillion point 0 grade point average before even asking how you’ve been. Their point is not to share that their child is a happy, hard working, goal setting, good friend; but that their child, is indeed, smarter, more athletic, better at instruments, more industrious...read BETTER than yours.

Just like when the kids were little, I make a conscious effort not to smack the bragger, though I may do all sorts of wicked things to them in my mind behind the wicked smile plastered on my face. Let this be an official announcement: I refuse to play your game and am the first to admit my children are not “perfect!”

But...I will say, my children have a mother that prays I can help them be what they were put on this planet to do, not what I have groomed, paid for, dragged them to, set them up for a stroke at 20 or tiger mom’d them into.

As mom’s, no matter the method, we all want the best for our children and do what we think is right. What we MUST not do, is judge others who do it differently. My children have strengths recognized in the academic world, but also in the real world they will have to survive in without me one day. So...go brag somewhere else, because one day, I just might tell you the truth about yourself and that your children, no matter how perfect, will sever the cord one day and make it on their own. Have you equipped them for that?