When is it going to be my turn when so much is not up to me?

When is it going to be my turn when so much is not up to me?

To be driven around,

And spoiled with surprises?

To be taken to dinner at sunset,

Be handed a glass of wine in a pretty glass,

And get phone calls just because?

When is it going to be my turn to go on a dreamy vacation,

With someone or someones that place me ahead of themselves,

Just every once in awhile?

When is it going to be my turn to not worry

About money,

Or being lonely

Or really living,

Instead of waiting or making a go of things...alone?

When will someone do my laundry,

And notice the dishes climbing out of the sink,

Or trash threatening to revolt from the can?

When will I not have to

Buy the groceries alone,

Cook alone,

Eat alone,

Then clean up, alone,

When alone does not a family make?

Ever?

Or never?

Or only on my dreams.

I used to wonder what was wrong with me.

Ask what I was doing wrong, as a wife, mother, daughter, friend.

Then, accepting that I can't change others, so to make the best of it.

Now...feeling like the proverbial hour glass is more empty than full.

What do I do?

Staying the same is not an option.

So...

Do fairy tales and dreams come true

For hardworking,

Sacrificing,

Do unto others,

Trying to make the best of the cards you've been dealt people like me?

Or do I get to keep watching it work for others?

And wait until death for it to be my turn...my heaven.

Because it looks like it won't be here on earth, for me.