Losing all kinds of weight...

I've finally come through the other side of my "mid-life crisis." Although a few years past 40, this crisis really came to a head last year while traveling Europe for a school trip, without my family. With so much plane, train, bus and hotel time, I was forced to converse with myself and could no longer hide from those awkward conversations on the topics I'd shoved to the side of my mind.

I turned the critical voice, into the kinder, gentler type that I reserve for those around me who are struggling the most. "We" came to the conclusion that eating away the pain just doesn't work. Ignoring it doesn't work. Pretending it's not there, just doesn't work. Until I allowed myself to feel those unpleasant things, mindless consumption would take it's place. Being in Europe was kind of like detox. No access to familiar comfort food combined with "real" food and appropriate portion sizes, while being surrounded by beauty, nature and other people's crazy families helped me see that I could make it, even half way across the world when I didn't even speak the same language.

It changed me. And...the weight began to come off and has kept coming off for the past year. Yes, things fit differently, but since I'm in my same clothes, I didn't think the loss was as drastic as some who haven't seen me in a year or more do.

What I am amazed by is that even with the loss of my 25 pounds, my weight is still far above those height, weight, BMI charts that contributed to the feelings of hopelessness and lack of control that started the gain in the first place. My weight loss has been more than just fat. I've had a loss of burdens. The loss of the need to carry the world on my shoulders...Atlas can have his job back. I think the loss of this type of weight has me walking taller, smiling more and pressing on, even when things aren't so attractive. Staticity allows that weight to climb back on, so I must find it in me to press on.

Yes, the weight is going, but the weight of worry, shame, guilt, grief, disappointment and challenges is no longer welcome to linger. Bon Voyage to emotional baggage and bienvenue to a Wonder Woman mentality.