Inspired by The First Full Day of Winter

The first full day of Winter

And the darkness inside me is almost as deeply entrenched.

As the year draws to a close,

And I look to 2016 to be bigger, better and truer,

I have to ask where my mind is and how

I will be the change

I want to see.

And not just for others, this time, for me.

I look back at so many times

I sacrificed what I truly wanted for excuses.

That my not having would make someone else happy.

Then, it became,”well, no one is going to make me happy

So I might as well make others happy,

To “give and maybe, one day, you will get.”

And here I am,

All given out,

Used up and feeling thrown out

So even the smallest of caring gestures

Is overlooked and taken

In jest and joust.

Here I am,

Owning responsibility for

Others taking that giving for granted.

Blaming me for not hearing the phone ring.

For laughing alone in the the theater

Or toasting “Salud,” with my invisible twin.

So winter with it’s short days and engulfing darkness

Befriend me and the healing

That must begin

So this is the end

Of the deepest, darkest, saddest day.